Fighting

Its been a bad day...I've been up since 5am. Got ready to go to the gym, and was writing Isaac an email when he called. I could sense his bad mood from the second I said hello. Let's just say it became a monstrous fight and has me questioning our relationship, probably him as well. It sounds weird, but sometimes I think Isaac loves me and hates me at the same time. He resents my freedom, he gets stressed out, he has pent up anger, and I become the target. I'm not saying I didn't do my fair share of name calling and finger pointing. We both did. I don't know how thing escalated so quickly. We hung up out of phone time, he tried to call back using that last minute, but the phone dropped the call or he hung up on me. 

I have no idea how he is feeling right now.  Hell I don't even know how I feel right now. I love my husband but I don't love us disrespecting one another. So I slept a bit, went to the gym, packed some more, and wrote him a short email tonight. I miss him. We are out of phone money until next month, so it's emails or letters. This is where patience comes in. I expect a nasty letter from him, but I wish we could just solve this. Here I am making great strides in my life and now I feel stuck. I know Isaac does too. I know he feels helpless. I just want this to all be worth it. Not one of those prison marriage statistics. I know we will work this out. It just takes patience.