Isaac and I freely admit our relationship is not perfect. I blame this on a rocky start and a whole lot of stress. We fight sometimes, strangely enough often after a good visit or nice phone call. Maybe it is self-sabotage or the need to justify the anxiety that comes with this type of relationship. Either way I am not sure why we get into arguments, but we do. We both have worries about if we are strong enough to complete this journey, or what would happen if either of us found someone else, or even if we were to get tired of each other. We fight about our families, our friends, concerns about how people view us and his incarceration. Sometimes I think we argue cause we are bored or can't let a good thing be as it should. I always feel so frustrated and fragmented after an argument because they are usually left unresolved.
The worst part about prison arguments is that you have limited time to fight. Your disagreements must be handled in 15 minute monitored phone calls and if left unsettled, then your day stands to be riddled with anxiety and quite possibly ruined. Isaac and I fought this morning because we misunderstood each other's words. Without eye contact and the chance at further explanation we lost sight of the point. I believe arguments should bring growth out of emotional struggle, but sometimes we just exhaust each other saying the same thing over again with hopes of using less time to explain the ways of a world not constricted by increments of time.
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