At Last!

I'm so excited, but it's like at the same time I don't want to hope, I'm used to being let down. What I'm referring to, is my husband got into basically like a life skills program in his prison and we are thrilled! I haven't heard this much joy in Isaac's voice in a long time, probably never since he got to prison. He got moved out of 23 hour lockdown where he had sat for the better part of two years to a dormitory and he loved his new found "freedom." 

He also broke the news to me that we get weekly visits now instead of bi-weekly ones and they are for two hours instead of one! I broke down crying in the pharmacy when he told me this. I get 6 extra hours with my husband a month! That is if I can make it every week. Finally he said sometimes they have family days and have family come for picnics. I was like "say what?" If he completes the course he will get a 6 month time cut, which isn't too shabby either. 

On one hand I'm ecstatic, on the other I'm so afraid to have hope because we have had so many let downs. I'm thinking of all the what ifs and am feeling all nervous, when Isaac is walking on cloud nine. Perhaps I should dare to hope? What's the point of carefully dissecting the odds, etc...that will only bring him down. All he needs is encouragement and support from his wife and I will make sure to give all I have. 

Welcome Back Me! Some Updates

Wow I can't believe it has been quite this long since I have blogged! Time can just fly sometimes! Some updates on me. I finally got moved! I have been in my new city a little over 2 weeks and although I love it, it is an adjustment. I love being an hour closer to Isaac! I went for a visit with him last week. I am sadly still unpacking. Two days before I moved, I woke up with horrible back pain. I got through it though and drove a very large U-Haul 4 hours through a thunderstorm and rush hour traffic. My family and friends have been great helping me and I love my little apartment. It's very peaceful...and also two times smaller than my previous one!

Isaac is doing well. We have had our ups and downs as usual, but we are good. I think the move was difficult on Isaac as well and I don't know why this did not really occur to me at first. He could sense my stress and I wasn't writing, etc...Now that things have settled down, I am getting back into letters. I got 4 out to him this past week!  I will visit again hopefully next week.

I don't have internet yet in my new place so I have been bored out of my mind. I started reading again though, which feels strange yet wonderful and I went to the gym for the first time since my back was so bad. I really should go to the gym today. Hey maybe I will. I just can't shake waking up so tired for some reason today, even after a cup of coffee.

It is hard being in an entirely new place, where you have to meet new people, establish yourself, begin working at a new place, get settled in, etc...I can't lie I am a little homesick, but it does help to know that Isaac is physically closer to me. Just knowing that helps.

During the time I have been away, I will be honest, I have had some serious doubts about whether I could continue this waiting, this feeling of being on hold. I don't know exactly what was triggering it, I was just really, really tired. After so much time has passed, you start to get a little tired. But I think it is all about refocusing, taking care of and doing things for myself, and remembering what is important in my relationship with Isaac. I can't let prison define who we are. I have said time and time again if we let LOVE not PRISON define our relationship, then we are indeed free.