Early Morning Thoughts

Well life is throwing some curve balls at me outside of Isaac's incarceration. I have suddenly become plaqued by severe joint pain in my arms and underwent a battery of tests. I am waiting on the results. The steroids I was put on are raising my blood sugar horribly and the pain is pretty bad. We got a big snow storm yesterday and all of that is deciding whether to melt or stay. It looks like stay as of this morning with a temp of 7 degrees. My car's coolant level keeps falling low, even though there are no signs of a leak. Just the usual random occurrences that make up my life.

I had joined a gym and was going regularly, but now with my arms, and with the coolant issue I am afraid going will be too much. I do have a stationary bike at home, my best bet for any cardio exercise. Myself and a woman from Instragram were doing a cleanse together, but apparently with joint pain you must refrain from citrus, which was the main ingredient in the cleanse.

I know I sound like all I am doing is stating the negative, and maybe I am. I am grateful for many things though. I am grateful for waking up warm in such cold temps. I am thankful for my body overall being able to function and it should at my age! I'm in my early 30's for goodness sakes. I'm thankful that I was able to get up and do a couple of chores around the apartment, unlike yesterday where I was in bed the whole day in pain.

Most importantly I am grateful to feel loved. I wrote Isaac a jpay about the fact that I wasn't feeling well and he wrote back that he is thinking of me and praying that the problem could be solved. He has seen me through a lot of health issues. I got a beautiful card from Isaac the other day apologizing for some of the past mistakes he had made and it finally did sink in that he thinks about those mistakes often and does not take them lightly. I can't hold him to them for the rest of our relationship. I'll post the outside if the card, the words were meaningful. 

I miss him more than I can explain as usual, and all I want is to have him here, but I am stronger than pity for myself, so I will go about my way today: call the doctor, the mechanic, write Isaac if my arms will allow, and continue to think about the future.